Money can be a source of contention in a relationship, but it doesn’t have to be. In this special Valentine's Day week edition of the Money is Emotional podcast, we’re talking about the mindset shifts and practical actions you can take to manage money as a couple in a more harmonious way.
Each partner comes to the relationship with their own unique “money blueprint.”
What’s a money blueprint? It’s essentially everything you think about money, both consciously and unconsciously. Your blueprint contains everything your parents and other influential adults taught you through their words and actions. It also contains your own emotional money experiences you’ve accumulated throughout your life. So, when you come together to build a “financial house” together with your spouse, you probably don’t have the same blueprint!
Get curious about your partner’s money blueprint! Here’s a great question to ask: “How did your parents handle money when you were growing up?”
If you’re married or in a committed relationship, you need to get financially naked.
Most people have no problem getting physically naked with their significant other… But have you bared it all financially? If you’re engaged or married, there should be no money secrets. Why are you hiding money secrets from your partner? Are you ashamed of a mistake you made? Or are you hiding money so they don’t spend it? Either way, there’s a trust issue.
Commit to a weekly date with your spouse AND money.
Yes, you and your honey need to have a ménage à trois with money. Nope, I’m not talking about sex! (Ménage à trois means a household of three, in case you're wondering.) You, your honey, and money are all in a relationship with each other. In the podcast episode, I uncover ways to make your money date spicier and more enjoyable!
Decide what system works best for you as a couple.
There is no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to your money management system. Should you have combined or separate accounts? Or a combination? There’s also the issue of division of labor when it comes to the financial tasks. Who should be “in charge” of the bills, the investments, etc? Don’t be afraid to experiment and tweak your system as your finances and life circumstances change.
Remember that different doesn’t mean wrong.
Just because your spouse or partner wants to do things differently doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Your way works great for you because of your personality and preferences. That doesn’t mean it will “fit” your partner. Be willing to compromise and know what’s not worth fighting over! And remember, blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape!
Yes, money can be a source of conflict in your relationship. But it’s also an opportunity for increased communication and intimacy. Managing money as a couple isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it!
Related: The Dangers of Girl Math