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Written by: Terri Reid | Traxiom Consultants, Perth, Australia
Earlier this week I was fortunate to be given the opportunity to speak at the Adviser Edge conference in Brisbane on the ‘Power of Clarity’. The conference is about the importance of social media, and attracts business owners who are looking to the future.
Preparing for the event was nerve wracking. Mostly because of the topic - not only did it have to be powerful, but I felt if I waffled then the whole message would lose impact. Partly because my message is not about embracing social media, it’s about the importance of real, human connection and how we express ourselves. And lastly because I had not presented in front of such a large group for many years.
No pressure!
I spent hours thinking about how I’d found clarity over the past few years, what I’d observed in myself and others that I’d coached - and the results that we’d all experienced.
I reflected on the key concepts I would talk to. I researched the facts to back up my anecdotal evidence. And I spent a lot of time creating what I thought was a compelling, knowledgeable and insightful presentation to share what I had discovered.
But the more I created, the more inner conflict I felt. The more I researched, the less clear I became on my message.
As I sat with this discomfort, I caught myself.
I realised that the way I was choosing to present was in conflict with the message of my business.
My message is to 'guide people and business to realise their value'.
Most of that value is in who they are and how they choose to live their life and express themselves - not just in showing what they know. And to do this in both their business interactions and in their life.
I was trying to prove what I knew rather than living my truth. I was sharing my intellectual capability rather than my knowing.
I was not realising value - I was trying to prove my value .
There is a time and a place to share our intellectual capability. But this was neither the time nor the place to do so.
I realised my ego had got the better of me. And it’s what I help others realise about themselves.
Ryan Wood and Emma Cunningham, talented business people and now dear friends both happened to speak to me on the same day I was reflecting. Both of them confirmed what I intuitively knew. They encouraged me to delete the slides, speak from the heart and share my story from last year. They both commented that watching my story unfold and seeing my struggles to gain clarity had inspired them.
I could see that the best way to show the power of clarity is not to describe it, but to be a living demonstration of it. And to do this, I needed to help people see what really happened, show how everything comes into focus in moments of clarity and to be clear, genuine and easy to understand.
So I chose to share my story of last year - what I call 'my year of being tested'.
What did I realise through this experience?
We don’t always believe our story is inspirational because for us it’s just life. And we are busy living it.
We don’t always see the impact of how living our life with purpose and clarity has on others.
We need to surround ourselves with the right people. We can’t do it alone. There is joy in giving to and allowing ourselves to receive from others. On both sides.
When we take the time to step back, slow down and see things from another perspective, it gives us an opportunity to see things more clearly.
Putting ourselves in uncomfortable positions and stretching ourselves helps us grow. And experiencing this myself, helps me be more compassionate when I encourage my clients to grow.
And if I coach people to be brave and speak with humility and vulnerability, then I need to lead the way. Because when I lead the way then it gives others courage to do this too.
These realisations served to give me even greater clarity and further reinforced the value of what we all do when we coach and advise our clients.
What happened on the day?
On the day of the presentation when I looked at the audience and shared my story, I felt connected to myself and I felt connected to the audience. People were looking, they were listening and they were engaged. They weren’t focussed on a power point or to their devices, but to a real human.
I hadn’t scripted my presentation. I was in flow and I spoke from my heart.
I made mistakes. I forgot some of the things I wanted to say and at times I rambled. Sometimes I struggled to find the right words - but I was real. And that’s ok.
I know some people felt confronted and others may have tuned out. I realise that my message may not be for everyone. And I respect their choice.
Because there were many wonderful people who came to introduce themselves and share the impact my story had on them. Some of them were open and brave enough to share their story with me too. And others felt comfortable enough to give me constructive feedback to help me improve for next time.
I am grateful to them all.
Technology and social media are definitely important parts of our future and implementing effective solutions can add enormous value to our business. However, the real power of embracing these improvements is so that we can have more time and energy to focus on our real value - sharing ourselves.
Sharing my story forged new connections with a real depth of feeling. It moved people to tears. It gave some an opportunity to see things in another light. And it helped others see that they aren’t alone in their struggle. My message cut across gender, age and position. It resonated with both men and women, from early 20s to people in their 70s, with business owners and employees.
This gave me further insight into the importance of real, human connections and how much we crave it even in these modern times.
And finally, it reconfirmed in my mind what I know in my heart. That when we speak up and express ourselves it can have a profound impact on others. And on ourselves.
Now that’s real power.