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Many people who crave connection and belonging, often embrace feel-good beliefs. They’re like cozy, inviting paths in a forest, offering comfort and a sense of security. But here’s the twist—sometimes these paths lead us into a maze, trapping us in a cycle of seeking external validation and approval.
Feel good beliefs, while comforting, create bubbles of false security. They tell us what we want to hear, not necessarily what we need to hear. It’s like being in an echo chamber where all we hear are our own thoughts, amplified. They give us a temporary high, a false sense of belonging and accomplishment. But they also blind us to the broader realities and diverse perspectives of the world.
Intriguingly, research delves into the factors that fuel this need for external validation. These include the desire for control, a sense of mastery, connectedness with others, and a longing for self-worth and superiority. Belief systems that inflate feelings of importance, safety, and superiority amplify the ego. These beliefs often mask underlying fears and insecurities, offering a false sense of strength, power, belonging, acceptance, and love.
The fear of not knowing or uncertainty fuels the human tendency to grasp onto assumed conclusions and beliefs, even in the absence of sufficient evidence or rationale.
Now, consider the irony of ego-driven behaviors. Efforts to display power and control, aimed at garnering approval, paradoxically reduce genuine likability. This is a fascinating contradiction where the attempt to force approval through power diminishes the very authenticity that makes one likable.
External Validation is the Road to Nowhere
Furthermore, feel-good beliefs and fantasies significantly influence human behavior. People cling to belief systems that offer a sense of self-importance, making it challenging to objectively evaluate concepts that don’t align with emotional needs. These belief systems often exploit fears and insecurities to maintain their hold.
Understanding and managing the need for external validation is both fascinating and intricate. This quest stems from a deep-seated yearning for acceptance and acknowledgment from others.
This craving for recognition is closely intertwined with the ego, as it feeds our self-esteem and gives us a false sense of worth. When this external validation is missing, feelings of being overlooked and insignificant emerge, draining us.
When we rely too heavily on these beliefs for our sense of self-worth, it’s like building a house on sand. The need for external validation, driven by these beliefs, leads us on a never-ending chase. We become performers in our own lives, constantly seeking applause to reassure ourselves.
But here’s the key to breaking free from this trap—realizing that our worth isn’t tied to anyone’s approval. True fulfillment comes from embracing our authentic selves, quirks and all. It’s about understanding that while these beliefs might offer comfort, they harm our wellbeing.
Our Worth Lies Within, Not Without
We have an opportunity to question why we were taught to give power to an external need for belonging and being validated. We can enjoy the warmth of feel-good beliefs but can we also be brave enough to step out of their shadows to experience the sun? Do we dare find connections rooted in genuine understanding and shared growth, not just in shared illusions?
When we do, we become aware of the trap of feel-good beliefs. We shift to valuing connections based on truth and mutual respect, rather than those built on the shaky ground of constant validation. We find joy in our own company and appreciate solitude without ever feeling lonely.
Maybe life isn’t about seeking approval, but about finding our path and the people who light it up. The most liberating realization is that being part of something bigger doesn’t mean losing ourselves. It means celebrating who we are, in all our unique story. That’s the kind of connection that fills the heart, without the need for a spotlight.
This path opens the door to a fulfilling and grounded life, where we freely express our true selves, embraced for who we are. It awaits anyone ready to embrace the edge of possibilities and play on this beautiful natural planet of ours.
Related: There Is No Going Back: Be Notorious