It's Not About Who You Know; It's About Who Knows You

I had the opportunity to ask my network for a few referrals this week. You'd think that certain things would be common sense. For example, if you're referring someone and are trying to help the person asking, don't just provide a name. I'm not lazy. I live on Google but there are often more than one person with the same name. Without more details, it's sometimes hard to narrow down the search.

When I'm referring someone I try to add a line about why I'm referring that person. I figure that if someone wanted random names they'd go to Yelp or Google directly. If they're asking their network, either personal on Facebook or professional through LinkedIn or a specific group, they are crowdsourcing from people they know and/or trust. Guilt by association.

These days I try to get recommendations from my crowd(s) for everything. Need a photographer, ask for a recommendation on Facebook (I got 12 within an hour). Need a speaker for an event in an area outside my expertise, ask my trusted Alley to the Valley community (14 replies within a few hours of posting). Almost all replies included only a name. So I spent hours trying to track down the actual person.

When it came to photographers, it was overwhelming. I ended up choosing a woman who introduced herself on a private Facebook group I belong to. She didn't push and I liked what I saw after she sent a link to her site. We got on a quick call and that was it. Frictionless.

The speaker referrals were all over the place. Most people just sent a random name or referred themselves. They didn't pay attention to the specifics of the request. I did submit one name from this group but found the rest through my personal contacts.

Here's how we can help each other better when providing referrals/recommendations:

Provide context - why you think the person is the right fit. 1 or 2 lines.

Provide contact info - a link to their site or LI, IG and an email address.

Tell me if you worked with this person and when. Or if you know someone who did. The warmer the endorsement, the more excited I get about the person.

I respond to every email when I get referrals but please don't be rude when I tell you that I didn't go with yours. This isn't high school. I'm not being a mean girl. It's just not a fit for me or the person I'm helping.

Related: Can This "Ask Culture" Be Truly Successful?

Bottom line: For all the complaints we have about social networks , I find that they are great when you're looking for a specific recommendation. Especially if we all try to take an extra minute to make the referral sing.