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It is 2025.
I don’t want to make plans (and mind you, I have plans).
I don’t want to work at being a better person (and mind you, I would always like to be a better person).
I don’t want to learn new skills (mind you, I learn new skills all the time).
I don’t want to be on the self-improvement treadmill (and mind you, self-improvement can be a beautiful thing).
These words may sound disingenuous, I think to myself, coming from someone who is a personal-development-professional.
Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have, Eckhart Tolle famously wrote in the “Power of Now.” Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.
This is my desire for 2025.
To be more fully present to the present moment.
To more deeply know, feel, experience this presence.
To trust that learnings will occur in this presence.
To trust that presence is enough.
And that the wisdom it contains is the most potent guide for my personal evolution.
In my line of work, the words Presence/Executive Presence/Charisma often morph into one. They are NOT one. Let’s pluck them apart, for a moment, shall we?
Exhibit # 1: An Afternoon in Rome
I’m having a flashback. My first memory of being in the presence of someone with presence. The kind of presence that in, my line of work, might be called “Executive Presence.”
I am 21 years old and hanging out in Rome. Like many first-time visitors to this intoxicating city, I am entranced by its history which seems to seep out of the pores of every building I pass. The moment I am about to describe is like a cliché from a Fellini movie – except that it really happened. As I am strolling up the Via Veneto, Ursula Andress, the original James Bond girl, is descending toward me.
Even before I see her I notice people ahead of me step aside. It’s as if I am witnessing the proverbial parting of the seas. Ms. Andress is strolling down the Via with a strong, firm gait, her head held high, her posture erect, her celebrated bosom thrust forward with an easy confidence. She is tall, a fact that is accentuated by her proud and elongated carriage. As Ms. Andress gets closer and closer – and just as quickly passes me by – I sense that “thing” that I am so often asked to coach people on. I sense animal magnetism. I sense charisma. I sense presence.
Ms. Andress owned her space. Fully. Boldly. Undeniably. And it didn’t matter.
Exhibit # 2: Why Charisma isn’t Enough
For those of us who play in the business world, Ms. Andress’ presence is irrelevant. Yes, Ms. Andress was the undisputed center of attention. She DID part the seas. And she did NOT connect with anybody.
Her charisma is a one-directional presence. It has beauty. It oozes magnetism. It dazzles us. It can, indeed, be a supreme social asset. But it is ME, ME, ME, beaming to the world, nothing coming back in turn.
Charisma doesn’t matter a heck of a lot unless it leads to connection. True presence is multi-directional. It sends energy and it receives energy. It dazzles and it is bedazzled by others. It is the sort of presence that connects. Fully, undeniably connects.
Exhibit # 3: The Levels of Multi-Directional Presence
When we state that someone has presence, what is it that we actually describe? What is this person present to? Presence, at its very best, is multi-directional. And these are the levels of multi-directional presence.
Level 1: I am present with myself.
I notice my body. I notice my emotions. I notice my thoughts. And if I view myself as a spiritual person, I notice my connection to spirit. I notice all of these ways in which I show up. Yes, I connect with myself.
Level 2: I am present with the other.
I notice the person or persons around me. I notice their bodies and their emotions. I sense their thoughts, whether explicitly expressed or not. And I notice spirit as it moves through them. I notice all of the ways in which others show up. Yes, I connect with their presence.
Level 3: I am present with the world around me.
I notice the leaf that floats through the air. I notice the wave that crashes ashore. I notice the car that careens down the road. I notice. I am present to the many sensations and stimulations in the world. I connect with the presence around me.
The multi-directional game is the ultimate game of life. It is a game of noticing. It is a game of scintillating connection. To everything.
And that’s the game I long to play.
So, make plans. Have goals. Go and execute.
Eat healthy. Exercise often. Meditate. All of that.
But trust that the greatest learnings may occur when you simply show up.
And are present. Fully, multi-directionally present.
Go there.