Few things tear a family apart worse than the estate administration of a loved one.
I've seen it. I know that most people have seen it as well, because whenever I present to audiences about it, people will come up to me one after another with their stories of how they don't speak with a sibling or loved one because of some big or small issue related to a parents' estate.It's a reason that I wrote the book, "
Having the Talk ," which focuses on the ways to begin a family discussion earlier rather than later, about planning for the later life issues of a retired or retiring parent. My research showed me that most people have "the Talk", but they have it too late, either when there's little that can be changed, or after expectations have been set by siblings about "who gets what." When this happens, families are torn apart, and loved ones who played together and protected each other throughout their entire lives now find themselves not talking to each other, usually all the way to their deathbeds.
It's a dire picture, sure, but how many people reading this can think of at least one person in their family or that of a close friend where this has happened?
The reality is that having this discussion and planning for these issues isn't easy, and the resources aren't easy to access. That's why I was thrilled to see a new website called "
Plan Beyond ," that not only provides content that helps inform individuals about the need to plan for these later life issues, but also provides access to many of the documents and forms necessary.Like me, Laura Troyani got interested in this topic when she had her own personal experience of how the execution (isn't that an ironic word for the process?) of a family member's estate could significantly impact the well being of her family.After seeing the impact this had on her family, Troyani wanted to create a resource that would "get rid of a ton of strive, a ton of pressures that family members have to deal with."
"The reality is that this issue has a universality among families," she said.That was the impetus for Troyani to move from her position as a marketing professional with a large company to developing a website that would be "one site where people can get better educated and have the legal resources they need" to address the later life issues, before they get to the point where it tears a family apart.Her site,
PlanBeyond.com provides informational content about issues that most of us don't want to deal with, such as “how to donate your body to science” or “how to get a death certificate.” Her categories of content, which include funeral planning and end-of-life care may seem daunting to most, but they're necessary when addressing the end-of-life issues that tear families apart.The most compelling aspect of the site for me was the extensive library of end-of-life documents that includes the necessary documents from every state in the U.S. to help families and individuals to get their life planning in order.Laura acknowledges that dealing with these issues can be very complex and emotionally draining, but her focus is on creating a user experience that as "simple as possible.""We wanted to make it so simple that you can't help but do what needs to be done," Troyani said.
I hope it can help families because the option of not doing anything, or doing it too late, is not an option that helps any family.
