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While people talk a lot about truth and honesty, the reality is that most people fear facing the truth . I know people who spend hours complaining about other people, their jobs, their relationships, their body, how overwhelmed they are, the weather and everything in between — in private. But in public, they adorn their masks and another character emerges. PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE: Do you have people in your life who find fault in everyone and everything around them, and all they do is complain, in private?
I learned long ago that when people show you who they really are, in the first fifteen seconds, it would be a good idea to believe them. And some of us may give people the benefit of the doubt. But actions speak louder than words.A person I worked with would say things to me like, “I don’t really connect with Jordan because she is so strange.” But when I would see her with Jordan, she pretended to be her best friend. I found that all this complaining and gossip only happened behind people’s backs. And it got me thinking about her and whether she was really my friend. If she talked like this about everyone else, she must be doing the same with me. And I was right as I tested her and saw beyond her facade, which broke my heart. Her knives were out and she was out for the kill to get the spotlight.Having learned from life’s experiences, I have to admit that it is a bit naive to have believed we shared in the purpose of the work. I also learned that people who tell you they are humble, rarely are. And people who tell you they have your back, rarely do.But as you experience life and become increasingly aware of people’s intentions, rather than their words, you can start seeing the truth of who they really are. One, no one really wants to discuss openly. If they did, your situation would be much different.So, for me, before the Second Act of this drama, I chose to leave, as I knew how this story would ultimately drag on. I was very grateful that this option was available to me as I did not let worry or fear control me as well. I trusted myself like never before. There was nothing to lose — apart for my health — so I walked out, stage left. I fired myself. WHEN YOU PLANT SEEDS IN TOXIC SOIL, YOU GROW TOXIC VEGETABLES: I did not want to get caught up in this mess once I saw the signs of a toxic environment. I am here to work and create; not fight and battle in someone else’s drama. Villains and victims are great when you are watching a play or a film; they lose their appeal on your own stage. And it did not matter to me what was right or wrong in this situation, but what was healthy and unhealthy. There was no one to blame. Only lessons to learn and energy to cultivate.Most people thought I was nuts, especially since I was so passionate about my work. But I had already set the strategic foundation for the organization and the environment was not for me for the long-term. The many seeds I planted are coming to fruition and I knew that my job there was actually done. The cost of staying was too high for my quest to be true to myself. In a world of 7.7 billion people, there must be healthier options and more planting to be done? OFTEN BEING SAFE IS RISKY: Being safe meant having work and it was much easier to stay and suck it up than to leave. Too often, people wait for someone else to make that decision for them as we live in a world where every problem needs a solution.Much shifts when you start seeing a painful situation as a gift, a lesson. It can be an opportunity to say no, thanks and reclaim your power with grace; an opportunity to let life unfold with the beauty of uncertainty, which you have been programmed to fear.What happens when you start asking yourself, what’s the worst that can happen? You can imagine the worst things but they rarely happen when you are true to yourself. You learn to see things much differently than how you were programmed; especially when it comes to tapping into your own power source, and realizing what you truly need to have a healthy life. PLAYING THE BLAME GAME IS PART OF OUR PROGRAMMING: From an early age, we learn to blame someone else. In the halls of schools and homes, you can hear kids saying, “it wasn’t my fault. She started it.” While watching the news on television, you can hear adults blaming the state of the world on different villains as the victims are portrayed on the screen. Blaming and complaining are easy, passive ways of living life, and a choice.But what if you were conscious and aware of how victims and villains appear in your life? What if the ultimate accountability is to yourself?I wish there were classes, apart from life itself, to learn how not to blame anyone for what happens. For me, I witnessed how I allowed myself to be seduced by a big vision and assumed there was a level playing field. But when I saw the misalignment and large egos at play, I chose to not be part of that story. And I took accountability for my decisions as I could not be responsible for how other people show up.How else can I grow and learn to knowing what’s truly not for me, so I could get closer to what is for me? GIFTS COME IN ALL SIZES AND SHAPES: I am grateful for these life changing experiences and the generous people who come into my path. I wish them well on their path as our roads take different directions.It is pretty amazing to get through years of programming and realize that blame and complaining are not necessary for a healthy life. There is a lot of unlearning and relearning that takes place for this to happen. It takes work.Related: Life is for the LivingLiving in awareness starts when you realize there is no universal manual for all of us; only the one you can create with all the tools that are here to be discovered. There are no 7-steps to success unless you create them on your own. What works for me, may not work for you, and that’s okay. It takes curiosity, compassion, practice and a thirst for learning and personal growth to reclaim your power. As my dear friend Bill once told me when I felt into the heaviness of the world, “Ayelet, God has 7.7 backup plans so don’t be so hard on yourself.”It’s pretty amazing to experience life with new eyes … the pain of perceived loss and the joy of learning. My wish for you is to see your own challenges and then see the opportunities within them. It is a way to see very clearly who you are now, and who you want to become, choosing self-compassion over blame and judgement.Imagine a world where instead of blame, we took accountability for our part in the story and how we want to show up with our own beauty and grace. Do you know what’s for you, and what’s not for you?I choose playgrounds (its4me) over battlegrounds (itsnot4me) and on this path, there is much to learn as I catch myself often learning what’s for me and what’s not for me. Do you want to battle or play? It’s a conscious choice to take action toward the environment that is healthy for you.There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you had enough. What's your enough? What paths are waiting for you to discover? Do you need someone to play with? It's all here to be discovered. When one door closes, two windows open ....