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Losing a loved one is one of life’s most difficult experiences. Adding the responsibility of settling their estate can feel overwhelming, especially when balancing your emotions with the practical steps needed to handle paperwork, financial decisions, and legal requirements.
While the journey of grief is deeply personal and ongoing, most legal and financial tasks must be addressed in the initial weeks and months following a loss. On average, estate settlement takes one to two years—longer for complex estates.
Take a deep breath, gather support, and work through these steps at your own pace.
Step 1: Get Organized With a Communication System
Grief can cloud memory and decision-making, making it hard to keep track of conversations, paperwork, and deadlines. The first step is setting up a simple system to stay organized.
If organization isn’t your strong suit, ask a detail-oriented family member or friend to help. Here’s how to get started:
- Create a tracking system: Use a notebook, spreadsheet, or app to record calls, emails, and mail correspondence.
- Log important details: Include names, dates, contact information, and key points from conversations.
- Stay consistent: Keeping everything in one place is far easier than managing sticky notes or scattered scraps of paper.
Having a clear system reduces stress and ensures nothing important slips through the cracks.
Step 2: Gather Key Contacts and Documents
Next, assemble a list of people you’ll need to contact and the documents required to settle the estate.
Who to Contact:
- Attorney
- Tax advisor or CPA
- Financial planner
- Insurance agents
- Executors or trustees
- Social Security
If you’ve lost a spouse, make sure you understand your Social Security options. Widows and widowers have unique claiming options that can easily be missed by Social Security representatives.
Documents to Collect:
Start with this shortlist:
- Estate planning documents (wills, trusts)
- Investment and banking statements
- Insurance policies (life, annuities, etc.)
- Titles, deeds, and loan statements
- Birth, death, and marriage certificates
- Certified copies of the death certificate
These documents will help you address bills, access accounts, and make legal filings. For a comprehensive guide, check out the Executor’s Checklist from the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.
Don’t Forget Outstanding Bills:
- Funeral expenses
- Medical bills
- Credit card balances
- Utility payments
- Mortgage or personal loans
If you’re unsure how to prioritize payments, a financial professional can help determine which assets to use to cover short-term expenses.
There are also tax returns to be filed. Your accountant or the accountant of your loved one can help you with proper documentation and timely filing. You’ll also want their assistance in understanding the tax consequences of selling or disbursing assets.
Once you have everything in order, have consulted with advisors, paid estate bills, and have all needed documents and certified copies of the death certificate, then you can start working with financial institutions to begin the process of distributing assets to beneficiaries.
Step 3: Avoid Rushed Decisions
Grief can make you feel vulnerable, and big decisions made under pressure often lead to regret. Unless something is truly urgent, take your time.
- Widows/Widowers: Consider waiting at least a year before making significant changes, like selling your home or reinvesting large sums of money.
- Bring in support: A trusted advisor, family member, or friend can help provide perspective and act as a sounding board during meetings or calls.
Listen to your inner voice. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to step back and focus on self-care before moving forward.
When to Call in the Experts
Settling an estate isn’t something most people do often. That’s why it makes sense to lean on experienced professionals to help guide you through the process.
Here’s how financial, legal, and tax advisors can assist:
- Coordinating with attorneys and accountants
- Filing insurance claims
- Reevaluating cash flow and expenses
- Managing asset distributions and account re-titling
As your financial planner, we take on as much of the heavy lifting as possible. By handling the legwork, we help ensure you can focus on what matters most—honoring your loved one and navigating this new chapter in your life.
Related: Retirement Progress: How to Choose the Right Benchmark