Why Money Conversations Remain Taboo (And How to Change That)

Take it from someone that’s been single a long time. One either knows what is considered taboo talk on a first date or one learns. Occasionally, the hard way. It’s the standard stuff. Politics, religion and, to some extent, sex.

Call me old fashioned, but money isn’t first date talk. It might not even be third date conversation. I assume that because I’ve made the mistake of asking women pre-first date if they had a desired income range for a gentleman suitor. I committed that “transgression” just twice it was enough to learn it was indeed a social faux pas.

My personal life aside, it is clear many people view money as off-limits conversation and the extent to which that is the case is arguably surprising. Earlier this year, I covered this very topic, citing some research indicating that folks in a relationship would rather discuss past sexual encounters than current money matters with their partners. Yikes.

A new poll from Bankrate confirms the taboo element of money talks. Read on to discover the details.

Money Taboo Going Too Far

Advisors know that even for a single person, finances can be sources of stress. That’s amplified in a relationship where money often looms large in terms of causing arguments and worse.

Making matters worse is that money is like any other stress-inducer in a relationship in that dialogue is helpful and can prevent the most dire of outcomes. Yet for whatever reasons, many people simply can’t talk about money and what they’d prefer to discuss in terms of personal matters is stunning.

“Only 38% of U.S. adults are comfortable discussing their bank account balances with family members or close friends, a smaller percentage than those comfortable discussing their love lives (47%), credit card debt (52%), weight (71%), political views (78%), religious views (81%) or health (81%),” according to Bankrate.

Obviously, I’m cherry-picking just one of the nuggets above, but think about it. In 2024, in this highly politically divided environment, nearly eight in 10 people would rather discuss politics than finances.

In Money Talks, Age Matters

I’m a Gen Xer and while the 80s were certainly a time of wealth-flaunting and some level of financial gaudiness, I think a lot of us in this demographic were raised to not ask anyone how much money they make or things like that.

That could be the result of being raised by baby boomers. As the Bankrate survey indicates, baby boomers and Gen X are less comfortable talking about finances than are their millennial and Gen Z counterparts.

“Around half of Gen Zers (52 percent) and over 2 in 5 millennials (44 percent) are comfortable sharing their bank account balances with family members and close friends, compared to 34 percent of Gen Xers and 29 percent of baby boomers,” concludes Bankrate. “Additionally, 57 percent of Gen Zers and 55 percent of millennials would be comfortable sharing information about their credit card debt with family members and close friends, compared to 48 percent of Gen Xers and 50 percent of baby boomers.”

Related: AI and Tech Are Shaping the Future for Financial Advisors