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From: boss@ourcompany01.com
Date: Mon, Mar 26, 2016 at 2:19 PM
Subject: Argh – not getting a response!
To: jodi@ourcompany01.com
Hey Jodi,
Do you have your COG #s ready to send? See below…
———- Forwarded message ———-
From: bob.employee@ourcompany01.com >
Date: Mon, Mar 26, 2016 at 2:19 PM
Subject: Argh – not getting a response!
To: boss@ourcompany01.com
Hey,
I’m trying to finalize the COG for this week but I need Jodi to fill in her #s for her accounts before I can send it to you and she hasn’t responded to any emails I’ve sent her, which is a pattern lately. Can you see if you can get her to send me what I need so I can finish?
I have so much to do and I hate waiting around for this!
Thanks!
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Why Your Torture Plan Will Surely Backfire
“Good morning everyone, just a brief announcement to let you know who has a problem with who in the company. Dan doesn’t like the way Trish leaves things in the printer. Mike is upset that he isn’t invited to lunch with the others. Kathy thinks Carol gets special treatment and Rich thinks Tom is straight up dumb.”
You would never of course make such an announcement, but forwarding someone’s email is essentially doing this. If someone came up to you and said, “I’ve got a problem with so and so” chances are you wouldn’t go straight to so and so and say, “I know someone who has a problem with you and here’s why.” The reason you wouldn’t do this is because it’s cruel to all parties and feelings would be hurt on both sides. You would also alienate yourself and be considered untrustworthy.
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Maybe Try this Instead?
At the very least you can simply copy/paste/reformat the email sent to you, reformatted to sound neutral. You could also ask the employee with the complaint to start a new email and cc you so the recipient feels the urgency. Or you could encourage the employee to try and work it out a different way with the offending party, giving them the opportunity to work on their conflict management skills. If all else fails and you can’t help yourself from engaging in this habit, let employees know that whatever they email you is liable to be forwarded, so they have the chance to consider how comfortable they’d feel if what they wrote were broadcast to the rest of the company. A good old-fashioned warning always takes the sting out of sucker punch.