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I’ve written extensively on the topic of financial infidelity, but in the essence of honesty, it needs to be acknowledged that I’m just a messenger because I’m single.
That 1986 Fleer Michael Jordan rookie card I so covet? If I buy it tomorrow, I don’t have to hide the purchase and believe me, there’s a plethora of stories out there about husbands hiding their hobby habits from their wives. Single people engaging in such indulgences are only accountable to their current and future selves.
Folks in committed relationships – civil partnerships, living with a significant other or married – shouldn’t be committing financial infidelity, but they do and quite frequently at that. Such acts can include the husband with a trading card “addiction” or a wife that gets a credit card in secret. Both are poor form and have the potential to punish relationships.
Financial Infidelity Appearing Too Frequently
Before getting into some relevant data, the answer to the male/female aspect of financial infidelity is that men are more likely to have financial secrets than women. Now onto the concerning stuff.
A recent Bankrate survey indicates that 40% of U.S. adults in committed relationships have committed some form of financial infidelity against their current partners. Compounding that woe is the point that 45% of respondents view financial infidelity as comparable to or worse than physical adultery.
Think about that for second. Nearly five in 10 adults in a committed relationship would feel the same way about their partners keeping a money secret as they would if they discovered the partner was having an affair. To be precise, Bankrate notes 38% of those polled view financial infidelity as comparable to physical cheating while 7% said it’s worse.
To be sure, the Bankrate survey doesn’t overtly say that financial cheating is a cause of divorce. However, it does say 40% of adults previously committed or currently engaged in financial infidelity against their current partners. The estimated divorce rate in this country is 40% to 50%.
Overspending Bad, But Not The Worst
In theory, overspending on a discretionary item while proceeding to hide the expenditure would appear to be the most common form of financial infidelity. Indeed, it is common as a third of the offenders in the Bankrate survey said that’s what they’re doing.
Debt accumulation is more prominent when it comes financial infidelity. Hiding of debt and covertly getting credit cards – two sides of the same coin, in my opinion – represent 40% of financial infidelity, according to Bankrate. Of course, where there’s a will, there’s a way. In this case, it’s having the will to take the steps to avoid financial infidelity. Those include creating a budget together, transparently discussing current accounts and even “money dates.”
“A budget isn’t something you set and then forget about it. Sticking to your financial goals as a couple means checking on your income and expenses regularly,” according to Bankrate. “And if one of you makes a mistake, like spending too much in a certain category, a money date is a good time to come clean and communicate with honesty and kindness.”