How Does Your Financial Advisor Make You Feel?

Is that a strange question? Might you be more concerned about what your advisor knows than how they make you feel?

Of course, you want an advisor who knows their stuff and has plenty of experience. Most of them do.

But how does your financial advisor make you feel?

If it’s not respected, valued, and heard – there’s a problem. Your financial advisor should never meet your desire to learn and ask questions about investing with defensiveness or dismissiveness.

Unfortunately, many women I've talked to have encountered this. They've felt dismissed, disrespected, and devalued by their advisor or other financial professional. It happened just recently to a member of the Wealthy Woman Book Club™.

She contacted her advisor and excitedly told him she joined a money book club and was learning about investing. She wanted to diversify her portfolio and ask him some questions.

His response went something like this: “Diversification is complicated, and most investing books get it wrong. I have 30 years of experience in the financial planning industry, which is why you hired me. There is a particular reason why I have stocks X, Y, and Z in your portfolio. Your brokerage account is just a small piece of your investment plan that includes your husband’s much larger 401k balance and my long-term growth strategy for your investments.”

This is what the response felt like to her: “Isn’t it sweet that you and your girlfriends are learning about investing in your cute little book club? Look, honey, I’ve been doing this for a long time, and it’s very complicated. Your account balance is so small, just a little drop in the bucket compared to your husband’s investments. So I’d prefer it if you didn’t question me and just let me do my job.”

This response made her feel dismissed and confused. She second-guessed herself, wondering if she was even smart enough to understand investing.

Thankfully, she brought his response and her concerned to the live meeting of the Wealthy Woman Book Club™. After receiving validation and support from me and the other members, she’s interviewing other financial planners.

Of course, her current advisor didn’t know she was planning to invest $1000 a month, starting now. There will also be a 401k (with a multi-six-figure balance) rolled over into an IRA that needs to be managed.

If her financial advisor had responded like THIS, he likely would have kept her as a client: “Wow, that’s exciting that you’re taking charge of your finances and learning about investing! I’m happy to set up a time to meet so I can answer any questions you have and discuss the changes you’d like to make. I’ll also explain my current strategy for your investments so you understand my perspective on how your family’s investments complement each other. Then, you can decide what adjustments you want to make. How does that sound?”

Because her current advisor got defensive and wasn’t supportive of this woman expanding her knowledge, she’s moving on to an advisor who applauds her efforts to be informed about her money.

Ladies, if your financial planner (or any other money professional) dismisses your questions or gets defensive when you ask them, it’s time for a replacement.

P.S. This story is told with her permission because she doesn’t want other women to be intimidated! It’s told anonymously because we value confidentiality in the Wealthy Woman Book Club™. (We'd love to welcome you into the fold.)

Related: Your “Lazy Money” Guide