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Trauma.
It’s a scary word, especially in the context of the workplace. Some might say it has no role being talked about in the workplace. But most people don’t realise that unprocessed trauma unconsciously runs our thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and our BODIES – especially in times of stress. But of course, no one in the workplace is stressed these days, right?
Neuroscience research demonstrates that only 5% of our behaviours are conscious, while 95% of our behaviours and responses happen subconsciously with little to no awareness. As our workplaces become more complex, many leaders are operating on this auto-pilot to make it through the day. There’s a danger in this that we have to understand better, and it relies on us becoming more trauma informed.
When I first dove into the world of trauma, it was purely by accident. I was noticing that as I got older, I had less energy and time for bullsh$t, and that certain types of behaviours from other people really drained me. I wondered what that was about? Why could certain behaviours from people steal my energy in a moment so quickly? How could I cultivate a sense of peace and calm that wasn’t dependent on other people’s behaviour?
I was also hearing my clients speak about these similar challenges in coaching conversations, which were particularly exacerbated in the workplace – persistent relationship challenges, unprecedented levels of stress, mental and physical health issues, not enough time and energy for family and friends. It usually sounded like “I’m so frustrated with so and so.” or “I’m all over the place and overwhelmed” or “I’m so stressed and tired” or “I don’t have any time for what’s important.” I knew I had to get to the bottom of these issues and look for more sustainable solutions.
The good news is, there are solutions. And science offers us a lot of answers that are relevant to the world of work.
This past March, I started a leading edge program with Mobius Leadership and The Academy of Inner Science, which took me to Boston, USA to study Trauma-informed coaching and consulting practices to understand some of the root causes and also solutions to this widespread issues.
There were so many rich, varied, and complex learnings. My intent is to distil them down to help any leader understand, apply and develop more conscious and sustainable ways of leading and showing up in the workplace:
- While there is significant and acute trauma (e.g. violence, abuse, health events, etc. or what I call “capital T” – Trauma) there is also “lower case t” trauma which is much more subtle. This is the type of trauma we are talking about here. This could have been a slight someone said to us that hurt us deep inside when we were young or a time when we needed a hug and didn’t receive one. And though on the outside, the event itself may have seemed small, on the inside we internalised it and that hurt stayed in our body.
- trauma is energy that is frozen in your body. You might recognise it in you as a persistent physical tension in the body (e.g. that constant tension in your neck or your tight jaw).
- trauma responses often manifests as a hyper escalation of stress (aka an extreme response to a relatively minor external stimulus), which is triggered when an event that is perceived as similar to the original one occurs. In this way, it may seem like we’re reliving repetitive patterns or finding ourselves in similar situations over and over again. This is re-activation.
- Overtime, if this trauma goes unresolved, the stress accumulates with each re-activation, which explains why as you get older, you may feel lower energy and less tolerance to certain types of environments/behaviours. This is because your nervous system is now struggling to handle the accumulated stress over time and needs a way to discharge or “free” that frozen energy.
- When we address trauma, we release the energy and will often feel lighter, more energised, relieved, and more present. We call this “integration”. Integrating what has been unaddressed or fragmented in us makes us more whole and coherent. (we can talk about coherence in another post)
- We can address trauma firstly through co-regulation – when our bodies feel safe with another body who is grounded and present. This is often why we have certain people in our lives (friends, family, coaches, therapists, etc.) that help us calm down because their nervous system is literally attuning with ours and helping us down regulate. We can also call this “being present” with someone. When we are in a calm state, w have more capacity to reflect and bring our subconscious responses into the conscious (this is self-awareness).
Knowing this has great implications for the world of work and explains why most of the workshops and trainings I’ve been delivering in the past few years touch on building relationships, being present, active listening, and coaching. It also explains why having challenging conversations and giving feedback can feel so threatening for people because it risks re-activating often unconscious traumas that occurred in our early lives. Finally, it also explains why most well-being programs aren’t working and we need to look at well-being much more deeply.
When we address trauma, we systemically transform our workplaces.
What does this bring up for you? What opportunities and challenges do leaders and organisations face when confronting the topic of trauma at work? Keen to hear your thoughts.
I’ll be sharing more learnings as the year goes on. Let me know what intrigues you, challenges you, helps you. And of course, add to the conversations so we can all learn together.
Note: the terrain of trauma is varied, complex, and can be deeply personal at times. If these topics bring up anything for you that needs support, please reach out to a qualified therapist, an EAP provider, or Lifeline Australia 24/7 at 13 11 14.
Related: Coming Out of the Pandemic: Learnings We Need to Apply to the Future of Work