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Most advisors believe that their job is to convince their prospects to say yes. It’s a common belief, right? If you can just present the right argument, the right data, or the right benefits, they’ll come around.
But here’s the problem, convincing someone creates resistance, resistance is the enemy of trust.
When you try to convince, you’re essentially saying, “I know what’s best for you.”
It’s a subtle power play, and it puts your prospect on the defensive.
They start to question your motives, your intentions, and even your expertise.
And instead of moving closer to a decision, they pull away.
The truth is, people don’t want to be convinced.
They want to feel understood.
They want to feel like the decision is theirs, not something they were pressured into.
And that’s where most advisors go wrong.
What you need to understand is this, trust isn’t built through persuasion.
It’s built through alignment.
Alignment with your prospect’s goals, concerns, and priorities.
When they feel you’re on their side, they’ll naturally want to work with you.
So, how do you stop convincing and start aligning?
It starts with letting go of your agenda.
Instead of trying to lead the conversation toward a sale, focus on uncovering the truth.
Ask yourself, “What’s really going on in their world, and how can I help them see it more clearly?”.
Here’s a practical example of what this looks like.
Instead of saying, “Here’s why I think this solution is perfect for you,” try this:
“Would you be open to exploring whether this is the right fit for you?”.
This approach removes the pressure and creates a collaborative dynamic.
Another key is to ask questions that invite self-reflection.
For example, “What’s been your biggest challenge in this area so far?”.
Or, “What would solving this problem mean for you personally?”.
These questions help your prospect connect with their own needs and priorities.
When you stop trying to convince and start focusing on alignment, everything changes.
Your prospect begins to see you as a trusted advisor, not a salesperson.
They feel safe opening up to you, and that’s when the real connection happens.
Trust is the foundation of every successful relationship.
And it’s built through understanding, not persuasion.
So, the next time you’re tempted to convince, pause and ask yourself, “How can I align with their world instead?”.
Because when trust is present, the sale takes care of itself.
Related: Why Selling With “Hope” Is Sabotaging Your Success
Ari Galper is the world’s number one authority on trust-based selling and is the most sought-after high-net worth/lead generation expert for financial advisors. His newest book, “Trust In A Split Second” has become an instant best-seller among financial advisors worldwide – you can get a Free copy of Ari’s book here and, when you click the “YES” button in the order form, you’ll also receive a complimentary “plug up the holes” lead generation consultation. Ari has been featured in CEO Magazine, Forbes, INC Magazine and the Financial Review. He is considered a contrarian in the financial services industry and in his book, everything you learned about selling will be turned upside down. No more chasing, no pressure, no closing.