Trending
We admire the way James Bond keeps his cool in any situation. He is savvy, and by using emotional intelligence, he can anticipate where the threat will come from so he can keep his eye on the ultimate goal. It’s a formula that leads to success.
As entrepreneurs and business owners, you also need to keep focused on your goal instead of being distracted by threats coming from both competitors and a shaky economy.
If only I could predict people’s behavior like a spymaster, you tell yourself, I could accomplish great things, too.
But let me share a secret: there’s a little James Bond in all of us. All you need is enough emotional intelligence to observe the people around you. Watch closely enough and they will give you all the clues you need to uncover loyalty, honesty, and deception.
As an FBI counterintelligence Agent, the first thing I did was put the targets of my investigations under surveillance.
It wasn’t just about being snoopy; instead, I wanted to identify their patterns of behavior.
Humans have always looked for patterns. From navigating by the stars, planting crops by season, or decoding genetics—we have a desire to understand, and therefore, predict the future.
Emotional intelligence is being able to identify and understand the behavioral patterns of people around you. Once you do, you know about what motivates them, and the more you know about what motivates them, the better you can predict their choices.
It doesn’t take training at the FBI Academy to learn how to use emotional intelligence to observe behavior and identify patterns. You can learn to do this on your own. Once you do, you will also be able to more accurately predict behavior—even your own.
Once you recognize your own patterns of behavior, it will help you recognize them in others.
Here are three tricks of the trade to develop emotional intelligence:
1. Use Emotional Intelligence To Notice Spontaneous Remarks
Gut reactions are always close to home. Top-of-the-head responses reveal the location of strong mental connections.
Unexpected, or even stressful, situations often reveal dominant traits. Use emotional intelligence to properly observe and understand these personality traits. They can explain a lot about the behavior of the other person.
Daily life provides hundreds of opportunities to observe how people respond to little doses of stress.
When it comes to learning the tricks of surveillance, start with yourself—It will make it easier to notice what to look for in others. Let’s use the following scenario:
You have a busy day—schedule is full, wrapping up projects before 3-day weekend. An employee with a project on deadline calls in sick, what is your first reaction?
How are they doing—you are empathic and concerned
How will the job get done—you are goal oriented
Who is going to fill-in—you are organized and structured
Are they looking to make this a 4-day weekend—you are naturally wary and suspicious
Not worried because it will all work out—you are an optimist who looks for the best in situations
Why didn’t I know about this sooner—you have a need for control
Once you have the emotional intelligence to notice these gut reactions in yourself, it will be easier to notice how someone on your team or a business partner reacts when confronted with a similar situation. If they don’t tell you, ASK!
2. Use Emotional Intelligence To Understand What You Noticed
Taking the time to think clearly after an event has triggered a response is critical. This provides an opportunity to notice feelings and use them as a reminder of how people respond in different situations.
Again, start with yourself:
Always pay attention—make a habit of paying attention to what surprises you, what makes you feel anxious, and what makes you feel good about yourself.
Never cease collecting information—where do you not want to listen, where do you insist on taking the opposite point of view, when is your reaction out of proportion?
There is always more to learn, about ourselves and others.
3. Use Emotional Intelligence To Stop Undesirable Patterns In Their Tracks
People are creatures of habit. We repeat our patterns of behavior without thinking about them. The most effective way to use emotional intelligence to become aware of these patterns is by looking back at undesirable responses from your business partner, associates, and others in a variety of stressful events and situations.
With a little experience, you will be able to identify particular instances when people displayed undesirable reactions such as exaggerated drama, panic, anxiety, or anger.
Deliberately step back from your on-going activities and take some time to think about them. In the process, ask yourself these questions:
Were you surprised by their reaction?
Do they always react the same way in certain situations?
How could you have made it a better experience for them?
What would you do differently next time?
As you continue to practice noticing their responses in various situations, you can begin to pull out the threads of their behavior pattern.
As entrepreneurs and business owners, we can use emotional intelligence to stop negative reactions in both ourselves and others while at the same time encouraging the positive and productive ones.
When you can read other people, it helps you navigate the unknown so you can land on your feet while never taking your eye off your ultimate goal
How have you used emotional intelligence to spot undesirable behavior in others?