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People will only allow you to influence them if they trust you.
They value honesty and transparency. They want to know that you sincerely care about them and their concerns, and that you will help them get there.
You can be the most knowledgeable individual in your industry, but it doesn’t matter how smart you are if you’re not able to communicate in a way that others can understand and trust. People will hear your message if you communicate it well. If you communicate it well and have their trust, they will believe.
The most effective way to build trust is through eye connection. Only speak when you see eyes! No eyes, no talk. Most individuals I have met are experts in eye contact. They have been trained to “look at everyone” when speaking to two or more individuals. When speaking one-to-one, they have the tendency to keep talking when they’re referring to their notes or technical gadgets and quickly glance away from their listener. Influence Monday to Monday® requires us to connect with individuals for a complete sentence or thought. Doing so makes them think they are the most important person in the room.
Take Action:
1. Ask someone you can trust to let you know each time you look away while talking to them.
2. During your next one-to-one conversation or group meeting, make a conscious effort to pay attention to the movement of your eyes. Do your eyes scan or do you really connect for a complete sentence or thought?
3. Over the next two weeks, video record yourself on your iPhone or iPad. The easiest way to do this is to video record yourself while you’re on the phone. Speaking on the phone is a safe environment to practice eye connection, focusing on objects in front of you for one sentence or thought. You can also video record yourself during team meetings or family dinners.