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When a new prospect is referred to you or reaches out directly, it’s easy to fall into what I call the “hopeium” trap.
“Hopeium” is like a mental drug that fills you with assumptions about the prospect’s intentions.
Without realising it, you begin preparing based on these assumptions:
They’re ready to solve their problem. (“Why else would they meet with me?”)
They want solutions explained. (“This is my chance to show them my value.”)
They’re comparing advisors. (“I need to outshine the competition.”)
These assumptions often lead to behaviours that feel natural -- educating them, offering free advice, and positioning yourself as the best choice.
It feels good, doesn’t it?
You feel relevant, appreciated, and even confident that this prospect is already halfway to saying yes.
But what if those assumptions are wrong?
What if their intentions are not what you think?
What if they’re unsure of what they actually need?
When we operate on hopeium, we give away control of the conversation, allowing the prospect’s assumptions about their situation to dictate how we respond.
This can lead to over-explaining, over-delivering, or trying to prove value -- all while they remain uncertain or hesitant.
Many prospects think they understand their problem, but in truth, they may only see part of it.
That’s where your expertise comes in.
Your job isn’t to validate their assumptions or follow their lead.
It’s to diagnose their real challenges and determine if -- and how -- you can help.
Think of it like a doctor-patient relationship.
Doctors don’t let patients dictate their own treatments.
Instead, they ask the right questions, dig deeper, and provide a professional diagnosis based on their expertise.
Here’s how to break free from hopeium and position yourself as the trusted advisor:
Build deep trust in the first meeting -- You need to create a connection so strong that they see you as the expert who can guide them, rather than someone they need to “shop around.”
Take control of the conversation -- Lead with insight and empathy, rather than trying to prove your worth or align with their initial assumptions.
Focus on diagnosis, not selling -- Your role is to assess their situation, uncover the root issues, and determine if you’re the right fit to help. This approach eliminates the pressure of “selling” and shifts the focus to solving real problems.
When you master this mindset, you’ll never hear phrases like, “I want to think about it”, but instead, your prospects will say, “You’re the one -- how do we get started?”
This shift isn’t about being pushy or controlling.
It’s about building trust and demonstrating your value in a way that feels natural and genuine.
Ready to explore this trust-based approach further? Order your complimentary books and consultation today.
Related: Why Your Sales Conversations Should Be More Than Social Exchanges
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