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So many of our actions are not intentional, but rather happen because of circumstances that may be out of our control. If you’ve had a bad day at work, it’s hard to flip the switch and put a difficult work experience out of your mind and walk in the door happy and carefree. When your kids jump on you and want to play, is your reaction to join in or have some quiet downtime first? If your spouse has prepared a romantic dinner for the two of you, are you able to clear your mind and enjoy or would you rather just eat in silence in front of the TV?
On the flip side, if you are dealing with issues in your marriage and spent the evening arguing with your spouse, are you then able to joyfully awake in the morning with a clear head and embrace the day ahead? If you are dealing with marital, financial or family issues, when you get dressed in the morning, that stress gets dressed and goes to the workplace with you.
The skeptics amongst us might argue that work can be a sanctuary and a place where you can focus on other things. Truth be told, you can’t really leave your cares at the office door. It just doesn’t happen. If you are happy and engaged at work, then you are better positioned to address the issues in your personal life. However, it will only serve to make your personal struggles that much harder to handle if you are unhappy and disengaged at work.
When I first set out to write Coming Alive: The Journey To Reengage Your Life And Career I was totally focused on the epidemic of disengagement in the workplace. That’s what I knew and had authentically lived through for a large percentage of my career, even thought I didn’t put a name to it till many years later. Reading my own words, I realized that I had blinders on as to how my career disengagement had impacted the lives of my friends and loved ones.
That got me thinking about the notion that what occurs in the workplace can impact your personal life and vice versa. These two worlds feed off of each other and either come together in a joyous abundance of engagement or collide in a dismal bout of disengagement. I realized then that the crossover between work and home couldn’t be ignored. Our two lives, both at home and at work are forever linked together. You can’t compartmentalize your life.
A colleague once told me that she thinks she’s a better parent and partner when she’s disengaged. When I asked why she said it’s because she leaves the office early and doesn’t work when at home, that part of her brain is shut off until the next morning and she concentrates on the needs of her family. I truly wonder how ‘present’ and how at peace she is when at home when the next morning has her waking to another day of disengagement. Just food for thought….