Redefining Resistance: How To Defuse, Not Overcome Objections

The traditional sales approach teaches us to “overcome” objections, to keep pushing and to present clients with more information until they say “yes”.

This approach oriented towards making the sale, doesn’t distinguish between genuine concerns over what you’re selling and resistance to how you’re selling.

So you have no way of tackling the underlying cause of resistance, which is usually subtle pressure from within your sales process.

Objections are usually code words for “I’m feeling pressured by how you’re trying to ‘sell’ me.”

It's important to realize that there’s a clear distinction between a genuine concern and “resistance.” But to understand this, you need to forget virtually everything you’ve ever been told about selling and replace it with this simple idea:

There are only two kinds of “objections” you’ll ever experience:

1. Objections to what you’re selling

2. Objections to how you’re selling

Here’s what’s crucial: When potential clients raise objections about what you’re selling — pricing, delivery, quality, how well what you have to offer can solve their problem or issue — these are genuine concerns.

They’re rooted in the client’s world and so you must take them seriously, rather than dismissing or ignoring them.

What gets tricky is when clients express objections that sound like genuine concerns — when they’re actually reacting to the sales pressure (even if it’s subtle).

This is the root of the old but true saying, “If they don’t buy how you sell, they’ll never buy what you sell.”

On the surface, it might sound as if all objections fit into the first category above.

You might hear comments like:

• "Send me more information."
• "Sounds good. Let me think about it."
• “Your fee is too high.”
• ”Let me check with my advisor first.”

But they may actually be code words for “I’m feeling pressured by how you’re selling.” The tricky thing is, your potential client probably isn’t going to tell you the truth.

After all, when was the last time a prospect told you, "You know, I feel as if you’re really attached to getting the sale here and that’s making me feel as if you’re pressuring me. It’s creating a slight tension in my stomach. I’m not about to tell you anything more about the truth about my situation and the problems and issues I’m trying to solve — because, at this point, I don’t trust you.”

Fortunately, you can figure out whether potential clients are expressing genuine concerns or covering up their discomfort by doing two simple things:

1. Assume that pressure is always present, even when you’re doing everything you can to create a pressure-free environment.

Why must you do this? You’re battling the negative stereotype of “selling”. Your clients have lived through so many traditional sales approaches that any behavior or energy that connects you with that image will set off their internal alarms, make them shut down, and raise “code” objections.

This is why you must be sure that your communication style never makes clients feel as if you’re associated with the negative stereotype of a “salesperson.”

2. Trust your intuition and instincts.

Over time, you’ll learn to be able to tell whether potential clients are telling you the truth or not. You’ll start listening to yourself, and you’ll start picking up
signals that mean they’re feeling pressured.

For example, here are some signs that potential clients may be resisting what they sense as your attempts to pressure them:

• They stop asking you questions
• They seem to lose interest in talking with you
• They give you short answers
• They start breaking eye contact
• They seem to withdraw their energy from the situation

If you’re experiencing these behaviors and also feeling tension within yourself, it’s almost a 100 percent that you’re dealing with resistance rather than a genuine concern.

Whenever you hear an objection, whether it sounds like a genuine concern or you suspect that it might be resistance, do these three things:

1. Stop.
2. Take a deep breath and physically relax yourself in your chair.
3. Then gently re-engage the conversation as you continue to explore your client’s truth.


An objection is really the greatest moment of vulnerability for potential clients, and if you can connect with them to defuse their lack of trust in you, you’ll gain a new paying with ease and without resistance.

Related: How To Walk Away From a Non-Fit Prospect

Get your Free copy of Ari’s best-selling book "Trust In A Split Second!" here and you’ll also receive a Complimentary Sales and Lead Generation Consultation (value $995.00). Ari Galper is the world’s number one authority on trust-based selling and is the most sought-after high-net-worth new client acquisition expert for financial advisors. His latest book, “Trust In A Split Second!” has become an instant best-seller among financial advisors worldwide.