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Stop these three common communication habits now to help your words hit the mark.
- Slow down to recognize and break bad communication habits. Minimizing your words makes your messaging clearer and stronger.
- Review and revise emails to ensure your main point is the primary point.
- Be patient and don’t beat yourself up; changing habits takes time. Maybe all you need is a small change in wording or order to make a big improvement.
Related: Words that Hinder Building Rapport with New Clients
Transcript:
Please stop using these words. If you’ve watched much of my content, you know I’m a stickler for intentional language. Here are three expressions we’ve got to stop using.
The first is starting emails with, “I’m just writing to say…,” “I’m just writing to ask….” “Just.” When you insert “just” in there, it weakens your whole cause. . .
Next is finishing sentences using the word “right,” so that you’re looking for agreement with what you say, right? You need to stop using this when you’re speaking. I get it—you’re wanting buy-in from the other person—but that person is relying on you to know what you’re talking about. They are relying on you to address what they need to be doing next. Imagine sitting across from your doctor and the doctor saying, “I think we need to start using this particular drug, right?” I would think, “You’re the doctor! I’ll follow whatever you say, but you’re the professional here in charge.” I even see this from speakers on the stage oftentimes. I know we want buy-in from people, and it feels nice to have that agreement going on, but when you’re in a position of authority, you need to land the point with a full stop. Just like that.
And the third one is, “I’ll be honest….” I often hear advisors say this when we are role-playing. When they use, “I’ll be honest,” it makes me wonder, “What have you been up until now?” If you’re seated with a prospect and you’ve been talking to them for a few minutes, telling them about what they need to do, and then you insert the phrase, “I’ll be honest…,” what have you been telling them? Drop that line.
I get it—all three of these are ways that we want to be endearing. We want to sound friendly. We want to break down barriers. We want to get rid of any obstacles in the way. But, you’re the specialist, and using these three verbiage clusters puts obstacles in the way of people hearing exactly what you are trying to communicate.
So, to do this most effectively,
- Slow down. Slow down with your writing. Slow down when you’re in conversations with people. It’s easy to add words. It’s easy to be verbose. The challenge is to subtract words, to minimize words. I remember hearing Jerry Seinfeld talking about what makes a good joke great. He said, “It’s not adding words. It’s taking them away.” And that’s a real challenge.
- Practice this. When you are writing, write your email, but before you hit send, review it. You might have started with, “I hope you had a fun vacation.” Okay, but you’re writing for a point; you’re writing, connecting with that person for a reason. Don’t throw that comment out, but put it as the secondary point. Make your main point your first point.
- Don’t beat yourself up. This is going to take time to master. Don’t get discouraged. Like I mentioned, take time when you’ve written that email to then sit back and consider, “How can I make this stronger?” “What do I need to subtract to make my point even clearer?” “What do I maybe simply need to rearrange to make the main point the main point?”
In today’s environment, where everyone’s screaming at us, you want to cut through the clutter. You want to make sure you do that effectively so your client sees you as knowing where you’re going and knowing what you’re doing. And you want them knowing they’re working with the right advisor.
I look forward to bringing you another Distraction-Proof Advisor Idea next week.