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Financial advisors have seen this before. A client moved their account to a competitor. You really liked them. Now they are gone. What can you do? In your personal life, the break might be more serious. You have been estranged from a family member for years. Maybe you and a close friend had a falling out five years ago. You both forgot the reason why, but the hurt remains. Can you reconnect and revive the relationship?
Let us address the departing client scenario first. Why? Because it is business related and there was no bad blood – Your client simply decided to become your former client. A New York financial advisor had a great strategy: They would call the former client several months later. The purpose of the call was to inquire if everything worked out the way the former client expected when they made the move. They would mention “You were a very important client.” The advisor simply wanted to confirm the transfer and everything else went smoothly.
This is very polite and gracious, but there is a subtle strategy under the surface. If the client left because they thought the “grass is greener on the other side” they might have discovered it’s the same grass on both sides. They might have gotten lots of attention in the cultivation period and much less attention after they moved over. Lots might have happened.
The departing client might be having “buyer’s remorse” yet pride keeps them from admitting moving was a mistake. By initiating the call, the former advisor makes it easier for the former client to say; “I’m glad you called. Things haven’t worked out as I expected.” This might mean the former client is ready to return.
That approach was gracious and polite. Those are the traits you want to utilize when reconnecting or staying on the radar of someone with whom you parted on less than perfect terms in your social life.
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Never speak about them in a disparaging way. You might interact with people who know both parties. This is easy to see when both parties belong to the same extended family. If you inquire about them or their name comes up, always take the high road. Word will likely get back to the other party you never say a bad word about them.
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The Christmas card strategy. OK, maybe fewer and fewer people send Christmas cards. Maybe you send them to people who don’t send out cards themselves. Do it anyway. You are planting seeds. We have a friend who we were close to thirty years ago. We drifted apart. One year, he called and said “I got your Christmas card.” Now we speak about every other week.
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You see the other person at a social event. It would be easy to try avoiding them. They are probably doing the same. Seek them out instead. Be very polite, talk about general things and excuse yourself. Your parting words might be: “I wanted to take this opportunity to say hello.” You come across as a classy person to anyone observing, including the other person involved.
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Find a common issue to address. You might not like each other, but something is happening in the family (someone is ill) or the community. You are on the same side olf the issue. This is an opportunity to say “Let’s set aside our differences and work towards solving this shared issue.”
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Send a contribution to their charity. You might be involved in different nonprofit organizations. You don’t speak, but you each give back in your own way. When their charity has an appeal, send in a check. Assuming it is a small organization, they might feel compelled to send you a note or thank you personally.
If you were friends once, there is still the opportunity to become friends again. You cannot wait for them to take the first step. Be the one who is proactive.
Related: Do Clients Ask “What Can I Do To Lower My Tax Bill Next Year?”