How Advisors Can Get More Referrals—Without Feeling Pushy or Salesy

Asking for referrals can be one of the most effective ways for financial planners to grow their client base, but it often comes with the fear of appearing pushy or overly sales-focused. Here are strategies to help financial planners confidently ask for referrals without feeling like a salesperson.

Shift the Mindset: Focus on Giving First

Instead of seeing referrals as something you take, approach them as part of a reciprocal relationship. By giving value — whether through advice, introductions, or resources — you position yourself as someone who genuinely helps others. This makes asking for referrals feel natural and authentic, as you feel like you’re not just a referral predator.

  • Give Referrals on Purpose: Proactively connect your clients with other professionals they may need, such as estate planners or CPAs. When you’re known for facilitating valuable connections, clients will feel more inclined to reciprocate.

  • For clients that work in a business, ask who they want to meet and what their ideal clients are and then devote some time to making introductions for them.

  • Be a Resource: Share helpful content or insights tailored to your clients’ needs. For example, send updates about financial planning changes and encourage clients to share this information with others who might benefit.

Be Specific and Strategic

Avoid vague requests like “Do you know anyone who might need my services?” Instead, tailor your referral request to specific individuals or groups.

  • Target Ideal Clients: Identify the types of people you want to work with, by name and company, and describe them clearly during conversations. This helps clients think of specific names rather than general possibilities.

  • Suggest Categories: If appropriate, mention potential referral sources by category (e.g., family members nearing retirement or small business owners). This narrows the focus and increases the likelihood of actionable referrals.

Ask for Help, Not Referrals

Frame your request as seeking assistance rather than making a sales pitch. People are generally more willing to help when they don’t feel pressured. This works much better when talking about actual people by name.

  • Use Collaborative Language: Phrases like “Would you be comfortable introducing me to…?” or “Could we brainstorm together about how I could meet X without it being a formal meeting?” make the conversation feel less transactional.

  • Position It as a Favor: Highlight how their referral introduction could help someone they care about. Your ability to be worth introducing to someone they know, even if that person isn’t in the buying process right now, will be huge here.

Respect Boundaries and Build Relationships

Not all clients will feel comfortable referring to others due to the personal nature of finances. Respect their boundaries while maintaining strong relationships.

  • Focus on Top Clients: Prioritize asking for referrals from those who deeply value your services and align with your ideal client profile and, most importantly, those who have tried to refer you in the past.

  • Be Relational, Not Transactional: Ensure that every referral conversation is rooted in genuine care for both the client and their network.

By adopting these strategies, financial planners can confidently ask for referrals while maintaining professionalism and authenticity. The key is creating a system that emphasizes giving value, building trust, and fostering meaningful relationships — making referrals a natural extension of excellent service rather than a forced sales tactic.

Related: The Referral Shortcut: How to Get Faster, More Predictable Results