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We’ve all heard the adage, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” I believe this saying doesn’t tell the whole story. In today’s world, building meaningful relationships and understanding the people around you goes beyond superficial acquaintance. So, I’ve modified the phrase:
“It’s not what you know OR who you know. It’s what you know ABOUT who you know.”
This slight adjustment underscores the importance of truly understanding the people in your network. Having many connections is one thing, but you can’t effectively serve or support others if you don’t know their needs, desires, and motivations.
One of my colleagues, Howard Partridge, the CEO of Phenomenal Products, took my phrase and elevated it. Howard added an essential component:
“It’s not what you know OR who you know. It’s what you know ABOUT who you know and what they know about you (positioning).”
Howard’s insight emphasizes the importance of how others perceive you. It’s not enough to know people—you also want them to understand your value and contribution.
Jim Cathcart, a leading expert in relationship development, adds another layer of wisdom. Jim notes:
“It’s not just who you know, but who’s glad they know you.”
This highlights the emotional connection within relationships. Are people glad to have you in their network? Do they see you as someone who adds value to their lives, personally or professionally? The goal is to know people and foster genuinely appreciated and valued relationships.
Another internet marketer offers a fascinating perspective:
“It’s who THINKS they know you.”
This reflects the idea that perception is often reality. You may not have a close relationship with someone, but if they think they know you—based on your reputation, social media presence, or brand—it can still impact how they view and engage with you.
Finally, Howard and I agree that in today’s world of commoditized products and services, there’s one more crucial layer to add:
“It’s not just who knows you, but who LOVES you.”
The ultimate goal is to create a loyal base of people who know you and love what you stand for, your brand, or your business. These people will advocate for you, refer you, and champion your efforts.
Building Deep Relationships: A Roadmap for Success
Here’s how to deepen your connections and build meaningful relationships that drive personal and professional success:
- Understand the People You Know: It’s not enough to network; you need to actively learn about the people in your circle—their goals, challenges, and motivations. This builds trust and allows you to serve them better.
- Position Yourself Clearly: Make sure people know what you stand for and the value you bring. Positioning helps others recognize your unique contributions.
- Foster Relationships with Impact: Cultivate connections that go beyond superficial interactions. Focus on building relationships where people are genuinely glad they know you.
- Manage Perception: Be mindful of how you’re perceived. Even casual acquaintances or online followers can have a lasting impression of you, so make sure that impression is positive and aligned with your values.
- Build a Base of Raving Fans: Ultimately, the goal is to create deep connections with people who love what you do and are eager to support and promote you.
Questions for Reflection:
- What do you truly know about the people in your network?
- How do people in your circle perceive your contributions or expertise?
- Are people glad they know you, and do they find value in your relationship?
- Do you have a group of loyal advocates who will go out of their way to support you?
Focusing on these deep aspects of relationship building will create lasting, meaningful connections that enhance your personal and professional success.
Remember: “It’s not just who knows you but loves you.”
Related: The Success of Your Business Hinges on One Key Question: How Will You Respond?