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I have been competitive since I came out of the womb, or at least as far back as I can remember. As I grew my drive and desire to compete and BEAT the competition (no matter the environment) drove me, and in many ways served me well.
But now that I am choosing to let go of the hunter/warrior inside me , depending less on my learned qualities and more on my feminine strengths have I lost my edge?
As a woman in finance we have had to adapt to a world of warriors and hunters. Sometimes what drove us was a need to prove our worth. To prove to ourselves and to those around us that we are just as good if not better than our male counterparts, yet in doing so we often relinquished our true strength.
I have spent the past 10 years letting go of my warrior and shifting my energies from the masculine to the feminine . I have to admit the process sometimes scared the beeejezus out of me.
It felt like I was letting go of a lifelong friend. A companion that helped me overcome challenges in a male dominated world and always had my back.
A partner who would kick my rear end when it seemed I was slacking off or feeling sorry for myself (not to mention the rear of others) or simply give me a big push when I wasn’t pushing hard enough to WIN. WIN WHAT?
I had always perceived the feminine qualities as being a bit mushy, weak, unproductive and overly sensitive , (Oh yeah I too was a victim of public pressure and limited societal beliefs).
But I have since made the shift to become my authentic self, and over time, with constant vigilance monitoring my own behaviors and actions I began to experience the incredible benefits of being me, the real me, the feminine me. The compassionate, warm, soft (okay still working on that word) caring woman that I am and I have to admit IT FELT GOOD.
As I allowed my feminine qualities to be released this new me began to permeate all aspects of my life even my kids began to notice. I became more clear and focused at work, understanding what I wanted with no old scripts influencing my decisions. Even my vision of the future changed as I became more transparent to myself and others.
All of a sudden I was allowing the world to unfold rather than control my surroundings. I was no longer envious when I would read a competitor’s email or website in fact I no longer saw them as competitors but fellow champions of the same cause.
While I could still set business goals I didn’t let those goals define me or predicate my activities. I was no longer pushing my business (a warrior tendency) but attracting business (a feminine trait) and IT FELT GOOD.
I now feel confident saying that my feminine side is my best side. It’s what fuels me, inspires me and motivates me daily, without it I am just half a woman and not the best I can be.
Using my feminine self, I now know my true purpose in life and allow that purpose to fuel my business growth.
Do I ever get anxious and worry about my progress, sure but then I remember that is just the old warrior gremlins trying to speak out and I quickly close my eyes and remind myself what I am called to do as a woman, and IT FEELS GOOD.